3 Things I Learned Going From Two to Three Kids

LOL.
That’s literally the first thought that comes to mind as I sit down to write this. Sooo many thoughts here. What’s it been like going from two to three cubs, you ask? Well, I’m just now writing another blog post nearly TWO YEARS after my last post, if that’s any indication…
The TLDR: It’s ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. 😂
Exhibit A:

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I’ve been a little busy adjusting to our new normal and now that I’m starting to feel (somewhat?) sane again I felt like keeping it real about what our new “normal” often feels like. So, grab a snack (or drink…if you’re a mom definitely grab a drink, I know you deserve it) while you laugh and cry with me through the top 3 things I’ve learned:

1. Everyone Who Said It Would Be Easy Lied 😌

I remember asking so many veteran moms of 3 what it would be like and the recurring theme was “Oh fiiiine! You already have 2, so it’ll just be adding another one to the bunch…you won’t even notice the difference!”
……
Well, I definitely noticed the difference. 😂 There are just..so..many…DIFFERENCES. Most noticeably:
1. You are now outnumbered by the wildlings. No more “Daddy, you grab one and I’ll grab the other”….there is now a 3rd one running rampant while you try to wrangle the other two, and yet you still only have the same two hands you had before. The thought of taking them anywhere without losing one (which has happened for like 2 seconds more than once now…more on that later) immediately became terrifying.
2. Depending on their ages, you might now have to manage three wildlings screaming, tantruming, or otherwise crying…like, SIMULTANEOUSLY. And let me tell ya, that “phenomenon” is not for the weak. The 1st time I experienced this I thought to myself, “So, is this what it sounds like when your life flashes before your eyes? Like, before the flashing starts? Because I don’t see anything yet, but this definitely sounds like the end of the road for me because…😅”
3. That grocery bill tho. 🥵 We didn’t really notice a big difference after having the first and second babies, especially because they were both breastfeed for the first 18 months, and still eating cute little baby and preschooler meals by the time I had our third. But fast-forward to now? When my 6 year old eats as much as me and my 2 year old eats as much as his 4 year old big brother???! Oh it’s baaaad. Stay tuned for my next blog: We Threw It All Away And Started A Farm Because It Was Too Expensive To Feed Ourselves.
So yeah, the moral of the story here is to take advice on going from 2 to 3 with a grain of salt. Everyone’s experience is different and yours might be the same, better, or in my case just a complete poop show in comparison. My advice is to prepare for CHAOS. That way you’re either well-equipped once it begins, or you can have the best relief ever if the chaos train passes you by..but if that happens, just pretend it’s the worst when you’re around other moms to make them feel better. (I can’t decide whether or not I’m kidding about that.)

2. You’re Providing Amazing Lifeskills (Or Two or Three) For Them…And They’re Doing The Same For You

As I first started juggling a newborn with two toddlers who still needed an abundance of my attention everyday, I quickly began to worry about just that – how will I be able to give each of them the attention they need? Will I be able to? Maybe three was too many…
You can imagine the guilt that set in, but my husband reminded me of a great point. Sure, it’s nice to have all attention on you, but at the same time he and I were both only children for the first 10 to 18 years of our lives and it was unfulfilling. I always wished I had siblings to play with and swap secrets with and go to school with, and (minus the girl secrets part) my husband always felt the same way. So
1) The more the merrier – it is such a blessing to be able to give our children the gift of one another, forever friendships!

2) Life affords us moments when it’s all about us, but in the grand scheme of things, very little is. From the moment we send our babies to school they begin to learn that the world is a more efficient and kinder place when we work together instead of just focusing on or looking out for ourselves. They have to share their toys in preschool, and work together with their peers to complete school projects, and likewise in sports every win is a team effort. In the real world, whether they’re managing a team in an office building somewhere or fighting within a team on a battlefield in the middle of nowhere, glorifying and looking out for only themselves leaves others ill-equipped to drive success, and in the worst cases, can leave families with a loved one who didn’t make it home…not to go morbid there, but our childhood experiences have a significant impact on who we become, and I want my babies to become the best little people they can be! So the point is that growing up in a home where they are always in the practice of sharing and being selfless is a valuable experience that I hope will shape them into generous, thoughtful adults who enjoy helping, being kind, and rooting for others in the midst of an increasingly self-absorbed society…

On another note, just as we’re inspiring valuable traits within them, they’re doing the same for us. One of the greatest virtues I’ve been able to improve upon since going from two the three is PATIENCE. I know it sounds counterintuitive – how does being driven crazy create more patience? Very simple: I got tired of failing.

At a certain point, I was struggling with juggling three wild ones (in large part because I was also being overworked in a bad job…but that story’s for another day). It was hard I was losing my patience with my babies on a daily basis and by the end of each night it didn’t feel good. I felt horrible at having lost my temper with such sweet little babies and I was tired of it. So one day, I gave myself the hard truth about what I was becoming, vowed to fix it, and I’ve been working on it ever since. Each day, each “incident” that will surely occur in a house full of little ones, I make a deliberate effort to try to be more patient – through each tantrum, through each discovery of something else in the house broken, through alll the things. It’s important for my babies to grow up with a healthy model of how to process and express frustration, all while feeling how much they are loved – always! I’ve also been able to use that same increased patience to improve my own mental health, giving myself grace when getting back into things like working out, and trusting everything will be okay when life throws me a curveball. The love I have for those 3 little cubs has pushed me to work harder to be more patient with them and in general more than ever, and I’m so thankful for that. 🥲

3. “Good News, Everyone!”

(That was for my Futurama fans). Now that I’m done crying about that last point, I’m laughing about the rollercoaster of emotions that is motherhood – in one moment our wild ones are driving us to the brink of (or beyond) insanity, and in the next we’re crying about how much we love them as we scroll through pictures of them – this is why we keep having more. It’s the craziest, yet greatest thing in the world. But my last point here is that the best, most relieving thing I’ve learned going from two to three kids is that, like so many things, it DOES get easier with time! Woohoooo! Praise the Lord! Now, it’s still chaotic, and I’m told that probably won’t change for awhile, but things that were chaotic in month one and year one aren’t so scary anymore. We still have various challenges every day, but all the while other things that used to be challenges are getting easier, and I’ll take it. Not much more different than anything else in life, right? At least these challenges come with 3 cute little perks who love you more than anything. 🥰

Soooo, if you’re terrified at the thought of going from two to three…you should be, it was pretty terrifying. BUT don’t forget about #3 here, okay! 😂 I’m cracking up as I type this because my original thought was “..it was pretty terrifying. BUT don’t forget about #3 here, okay, You’ll be fiiiine!” and if we rewind all the way to my #1 point up there, this whole post is about the fact that this is exactly what I was told, so we’ve come full circle. It wasn’t a lie, women just know that mamas are super heroes, and while it will definitely be challenging at 1st, it’s nothing we won’t pull up our big girl leggings for and conquer, as we tend to do. You’ve got this, mama!

And for those who know of someone who is approaching or new to the jump from 2 to 3 (or more!), I hope this explains everything – the freaking out, the messy house, the messy life period…just give her a minute (and maybe a bottle of something bubbly), okay? 😂

Follow my family on Instagram as we navigate the chaos of raising cubs @cubsandchaos. 🤎