The First Moments

Although it’s been almost TEN months, I remember them as if they had happened just 10 minutes ago. I imagine the little details eventually get lost over time, but I don’t think a mother ever forgets the way she felt in those first moments…

I was 40 weeks and one day along, excited to be at the hospital for an induced labor because I was ready to meet you (although phrased much less eloquently at the time as “ready for you to GET OUT” 🤭).
You were still quite comfy in there, staying put despite hours of going through the ropes of the induction. At one point I was asked if it were possible for me to do some planking in order to help you out. As a fitness enthusiast, I thought it was hilarious that I’d be doing one of my favorite exercises in a hospital bed while in labor with my third child (my barre instructors would be so proud!) All things considered, it was a pretty smooth labor, complete with an unexpected workout and even a little dancing. A couple of pushes later you finally decided to come out and meet us, forever changing our (not so) little family for the better.

In these first few minutes with you I am incredibly overwhelmed in only the most positive of ways. I felt an amazing sense of relief because the pregnancy was finally over! The constant kicking driving me crazy all day (and night), the pressure and strain on my body as you grew, the worrying about how you were doing in there and whether or not labor would be painful…it was all over. The pain, anxiety, and frustration all ceased to exist because you were here. With that final push, all was well with the world and it’s newest little guest.

As powerful as the relief is, it lasts but for a second. Immediately afterwards, when they place you in my arms I am overwhelmed with the purest form of joy I’ve ever felt – the same bliss I felt when your big sister and big brother were placed in my arms two and four Julys before you..it’s amazing every single time – it never gets old. It’s an amazing joy stemming from locking eyes with this tiny little person I carried and nurtured for 9 months who is so beautiful(!!), so pure, and so very precious to me. I can’t stop staring at you, and I can’t hold the tears back, laying there holding your body against mine, and so incredibly thankful to God that He saw me through another healthy pregnancy, blessing me with another healthy, beautiful baby to add to our family. Within minutes you were already working on turning your little head to stare back at me with those big irresistible eyes that you still look back at me with today. I think to myself, or perhaps I actually whispered to you “Hi..it’s me, Mommy. 🥹 My sweet Elijah, you did it baby! You took your time getting big and strong in there and finally made your way to me…it is so very wonderful to meet you. I love you so much.”

The next few minutes quickly turn into my first few hours and first few days with you at the hospital. They were euphoric. It didn’t feel like I was in a “cold hard hospital bed” swarming with nurses checking our vitals around the clock. Despite having still been in the midst of a frustrating third trimester just the day before, nothing was uncomfortable, and nothing was annoying. Your presence filled me with the greatest natural endorphins that took all of that away. Whether you were awake or asleep, I spent every minute watching you, holding you, smiling, talking to you, and bursting with pride when I gazed upon you, so completely elated that I was finally getting to see you in this way. Everyone had to remind me to eat and sleep because all I wanted was to enjoy you. “You are so tiny, so incredibly cute(!!!), and I am so in love with you, my sweet baby boy.”

All of the worries about whether or not I was ready for three little ones, if there would be enough of me left for you, or if you would be okay were nowhere to be found. You were definitely okay! You were here in my arms and meant to be a part of our growing family where there would be abounding love for you. In these moments, I just knew it. Laying there with you and relishing in these confirmations, I was in a perfect peace that I am always taken back to when thinking of this time.

So, many ask “How do mothers of multiples go through the stress and pain of pregnancy and labor, yet decide to do it all over again???” I always think back to these first few moments.
It’s these and so many more that we know are in store for us throughout their lives that diminish all of the fear and even the physical hardships felt along the way, which are absolutely nothing compared to the beautiful miracle of creating life, and the bliss of the moments that follow..all beginning with those first few.

As we rolled out of our first little overnight vacation spot together with your Daddy leading us proudly, I whispered to you and shouted to the world “Welcome to a family who loves you so very much, Elijah. ‘Our little baby bear’. We are so glad you’re here with us. Let your adventure begin…”
🐻💛

Follow my family on Instagram as we navigate the chaos of raising cubs @cubsandchaos. 🤎